no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
