She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This baby is an asshole
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
