It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
