Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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