legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
