i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
