you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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