im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize