Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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