He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
