do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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