nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
