We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
