i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
