your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
