i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Four minutes until I can fart!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
