In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
