ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
