Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
