Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
