Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
