Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
