i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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