She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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