This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
