Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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