David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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