i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
