Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
