hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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