ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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