You work out of a Hotel?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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