umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
