..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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