awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
