You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
