I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
