i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
