i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
