If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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