butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
