K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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