Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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