Can Purell be used as lube?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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