Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
