Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
