Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
