I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the condom got lost in my hair
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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