I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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