I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
