I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
