i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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