Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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