What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want to fling myself into the sun
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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