i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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