We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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