And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
