I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
