As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
