You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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