Define "chronic" masturbator.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
