that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
