He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
