i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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