he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
