I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
