Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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