was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize