Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
do herpes really smell.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
