So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize