My nipple is on Facebook.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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