So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
