"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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