I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
