Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
