i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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