Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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