We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize