There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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